This blog post is part of the 2016 Next Top Credit Union Executive competition originally posted October 14, 2016.

Failure is such a big word and has multiple underpinnings. Stigma, shame, fault, hopeless, disconnection, blame, financial worries, relationship breakdowns, loss of hope, and crushed dreams are a few that come to mind. I’ve had failures in my career, two significantly substantial ones, that forced me into deep reflection and led me to ask myself these questions:

1. Who am I?
2. What do I offer?
3. What is my vision of a perfect day?
4. What kinds of conversations excite me and with what types of people?
5. How can I and how do I need to add value?

The journey of knowing who I am and who I am becoming began at the age of 16 and deepens at every turn. Someday, I’ll share more of the story of my senior year of high school. Today, however, question 5 is important in this context: “How can I and how do I need to add value?” The foundation of this question is dignity. It is beneficial when we determine how to use our unique leadership presence and expertise to add value for the sake of serving others.

Many of the career failures I hear about in leadership-coaching or recruitment conversations occur due to one or all three of the following reasons: the vision of the role outweighed the ability of the candidate to perform as a leader, the incoming new hire assumed their perspective of culture is your culture and the reality check was left in the parking lot, or there was a serious misread of the candidate’s ability to perform as a leader with competent expertise.

The requirement for leaders to be effective is a strong requisite that can no longer be ignored. Being in that defining moment of failure is a poignant moment in career shaping. Something happened wherein you did not perform to the expectations of others. Take a couple of days to allow yourself to feel the failure in your body, and be sad, disappointed, and maybe angry, all of which are natural emotions related to grieving. If you still have a job, be mindful of your mood in the workplace. If you find yourself without employment, be aware of how your mood impacts your home and family. On the third day, intentionally shift to a generative reflection process.

1. What did you assume that was not true? How did that happen?
2. What was your biggest blind spot?
3. What would you do over?
4. What did you learn about yourself?
5. Knowing what you now know, what is your true value proposition?
6. What conversation do you need to be in and with whom?
7. What are the circumstances in which you can add the greatest value and retain your dignity?

Notice that none of these questions are directed toward your manager. Yes, it takes two to be in a relationship, and as a leader, this defining moment is your learning moment.

The AIRS Model for Recommitment in Action

• Courageously acknowledge the issue and demonstrate awareness and appreciation for the breakdown that an important issue exists.
• Share that you realize the negative impact on the team (project) your actions over a long-term basis.
• Take responsibility. State your accountability and the contribution for the issue, action, and omission.
• Provide a solution through recommitment to the project, team, or your development and learning. Identify a problem-solving action and resolve to rebuild trust or withdraw from the commitment with dignity.

The AIRS Model is relevant if you stay on the job or withdraw, voluntarily or involuntarily, to rebuilding trust and dignity, aligning your leadership presence and competence with a need and adding value every day. Be true in your self-assessment, and the path forward will be rich in opportunities to add value in meaningful ways.

Deedee Myers, Ph.D., MSC, PCC
DDJ Myers, Ltd.

This blog post is part of the 2016 Next Top Credit Union Executive competition originally posted October 12, 2016.

Being in a relationship with a mentor is an honor and encourages feelings of gratitude and appreciation. The mentee has the responsibility of structuring a successful mentoring relationship, making requests of the mentor, acknowledging and receiving the mentor’s offers, and creating intentionality in the outcomes of the relationship.

This blog post is part of the 2016 Next Top Credit Union Executive competition originally posted October 10, 2016.

Going to work five days a week is a major commitment of time and energy. From the first moment you roll out of bed and your feet land on the floor to opening the door to your home at night, it is easily a time commitment of ten hours or more. I have the opportunity to hear stories from many people about their life at work and will share practices that work for others and a few that work for me.

Mood: Check your mood a few times a day. Do you look forward to your team meeting? Are you anticipatory about designing a new product, anxious about a tough conversation, feeling trapped, or delighted with your promotion? Having more days in which you feel trapped, stressed, or unsafe versus moods of engagement, learning, and contributing are a big clue that your mood or something else needs to change.

Be present: The polarity of being at home versus work wears the best of us out over time. If you are at work and worrying about home or at home worrying about work, you can become frazzled or fractured. Be present where you are and acknowledge your commitments in other parts of your life. Most importantly, when home with your family, be present. Leave the laptop at the office and instead, play with the kids, walk the dog, and converse with your partner and friends.

Make a difference: How you spend your precious time away from home needs to connect adding value and making a difference to coworkers, members, consumers, or the community. Understand your unique value, and you will make a difference.

Engage: Look for and step into opportunities to engage and make offers. Invite someone to coffee, go out to lunch with coworkers, chat with someone new in the organization, use your voice in meetings, and offer to help others move forward.

Smile: One benefit of my early morning runs on the canal is the smiles I give and receive from others. People who are out in the morning moving their bodies easily say “good morning,” accompanied by a smile. Take that practice to work and smiles at someone in the hallway, walking into a meeting, or on the other end of the phone who can’t even see you. It doesn’t cost anything and has many benefits!

Was this a day well lived?

Deedee Myers, Ph.D., MSC, PCC
DDJ Myers, Ltd.

This blog post is part of the 2016 Next Top Credit Union Executive competition originally posted September 14, 2016.

Everyone has the potential and capacity to be leaders in all their roles in life: at home, in the community, and at work. A leader with a centered presence thinks and acts effectively in a variety of circumstances and challenges. A centered leader acts more decisively, collaborates with others to achieve goals, and has a wide range of communication practices, such as deep listening and speaking from the heart to the issues and concerns of his or her listeners.

The Self that you are is your fundamental power as a leader. How you present yourself in your relationships and connections with others is a direct reflection of who you are as a person. Forward-leaning people have those same distinctions in how they orient themselves in conversation and action.  They may rush into problem solving and miss important details or lack self-care. People who lean back and away have those same distinctions in their orientations. These distinctions are much more than body language; they are your leadership presence, your centered presence that compels, motivates, and mobilizes others into action.

A centered leader has a centered, well-grounded body with shoulders over hips, knees, and ankles and is connected to a purpose united with a greater good in mind. Your Self from within, as a compelling leader, is integrous with your external self: how you comport yourself in your conversations and actions using your gifts and talents and aligning with your passion and commitment.

The Next Top Credit Union Exec (NTCUE) has a strong sense of Self. The NTCUE acknowledges and honors their gifts and talents and aligns them with purposeful action every day. The NTCUE creates a project that showcases their passion, gifts, and talents in a purposeful and intentional fashion. The NTCUE accesses wisdom and makes the right and often harder choice. The NTCUE is vulnerable and compassionate and acts with courage in the face of obstacles. The NTCUE shares the concerns of others yet, at the same time, honors their own concerns. The NTCUE takes a stand for dignity and takes appropriate action to fulfill promises. The NTCUE makes powerful requests of others for support and makes meaningful offers to others.

To be a compelling leader, you must first be compelling to yourself and honor your gifts, talents, and passion for what is important in life. To be compelling requires being passionate and practicing being a centered and grounded presence.

Deedee Myers, Ph.D., MSC, PCC
DDJ Myers, Ltd.